My dear, sweet, darling, menopausal mother gave me an unexpected 5AM wake-up call this morning. I didn’t have to be at work until 9, but she loves me so she gave me a four hour headstart. Such a supportive maternal unit. (Jealous? You should be.) Nonetheless, it was my own fault. Today was scheduled to be a day where an important, life-altering decision was to be rendered, but it’d been delayed and I failed to inform my mother of this prior. Still, she loves me, right? So once I tell her of the delay, she’ll allow me to return to sleep.
Nah. Not so much.
I have an amazing opportunity before me. An opportunity that for my current career could catapult me onto magnificent vistas. Yet I remain hesitant to take it. My mother (and most) do not understand my hesitation. I live my life in fluid but planned motions. I know where I want my life/career to end, and up until this point, veering off on different paths hasn’t changed my focus. My destination has always been visible on the horizon, and being in my youth, I knew I’d get there one day soon. Unfortunately though, my 20s are nearing its end, and the urge to foot the necessary steps to arrive at my desired destination is becoming more insistent. I’m hesitant to veer off on different paths any longer, and this opportunity, while prestigiously alluring & financially bountiful, is not on the current lane.
I confessed all of this to my mother, and her response…
“¡Pare el quejarse! Qué evitará que su logre ambos?” (“Stop whining. What will prevent your from accomplishing both?”)
My answer is me. I’m the only person who can prevent myself. I’m fearful of taking this new job because I think it’ll keep me from establishing my non-profit. My fear is unfounded, though, because only I can allow this new position to do such. One can be his/her own supportive aid or restraining hindrance. We all should choose the former. If something is blocking your way, go around it. If that’s not possible, then go through it. Strength comes from within you. Encouragement from outside factors are great and definitely welcomed, but if the fortitude, the drive, the faith in God, is not inside you and you don’t succeed, the fault is your own. If I allow this opportunity to force me to travel away from my destination, that speaks to my own weakness. And I try to combat those at every opportunity.
I thank my mother for the encouragement, and as I am never one to not capitalize on a circumstance that may get her off my back about being single, I tell her doing both of those things will leave miniscule time for a successful love life. Her response…
“Una realización no es que sorprendiendo cuando usted sueño solamente. Deje a hombre ser el cielo donde usted brillará. Usted brillará más brillante.” (An accomplishment is not that amazing when you sleep alone. Let a man be the sky you shine in. You will shine brighter.)
I have used my career as a defense as to why I’m single. I’ve worn my independence & self-reliance as armor against all inquires & accusations. I tell myself that I have my career & friends and a man is not a desire at this time. Those are faulty lies. I spend many nights with spreadsheets & statutes attempting to drown out the loneliness. I want a fellow starring actor in this play called ‘Life’ with me, one whom I can support and supports me in return. If I take this opportunity or if I don’t, I know that I will continue to ascend and that it does not make me any less independent or phenomenal to admit that I want a worthwhile, phenomenal man holding my hand along the way as he does the same.
So dear, sweet, darling, menopausal Mom, thank you for both of those much-needed kicks in my rear. Next time though, might I request you administer them around…say…8AM?
(Spanish included by request of Sugarlips.)
5 comments:
I couldn't agree more. The path you choose, whether it be career or any other life path shouldn't stop you from pursuing/achieving your dreams.
Very best of luck in whatever you decide. You deserve all your success...
Yo....sometimes one path you choose fuels your ability to achieve another. Godspeed with which ever you choose. I have your back either way ;-)
In the end, you have to live with your decisions. Good, bad, or indifferent. So I support whatever you decide. I know you'll be successful no matter what path you take.
Gracias por la lección de español!
I hear you on the work getting in the way of your dreams... it's so easy to say that you need to not let it sway you from your path, but it's easier said than done sometimes - especially when you're a perfectionist. (trust me, I know :)
And burying yourself in your work? Been there. It's so much easier to invest your time & efforts on what you know will give you a decent ROI, then to make bets on what has such low odds (namely social life/meeting men). Unfortunately, I think your mom is right. I can't tell you how many times I've achieved successes in my life, and never *quite* felt as happy for them as I should, because there was no one there sharing in the moment with me. Don't get me wrong, girlfriends are the best, but it's different. It's so much different having someone actually there uplifting and supporting you through your achievement versus someone to just share celebratory toasts with.
I wish you luck with whatever you choose to do, and may all the happiness and success you deserve come your way.
Next time, put your phone on vibrate until it's time to get up :)
I hesitated on responding...yet I felt compelled. As a woman with a few years into her 30s for life experience, let me include that while it is true an accomplishment may not be as amazing when you sleep alone, a man can often be the very distraction that veers you from your life path. That misstep could cost days, months or years; depending on how "consumed" you become in that relationship, if he is the wrong man. My misstep set me back two years. While I did enlarge my professional territory during those two years, I felt personally stagnant. I did not feel I grew as an individual outside of my career; I felt some part of me was dwarfed. When the relationship dissolved completely, I imagined how much more I could have achieved in my personal growth had that individual not been entertained by me for so long. I learned very valuable lessons from that experience. One of them is to not let a man bask in my glory, who isn't deserving, just for the comfort of him being there. Reina, if he truly cannot be your sky, your light will not shine as brightly as it does now.
Conversely when the right man, at the right time, pursues you with a persistance you cannot resist no matter how "consumed" by your career you may be; if you're open Reina...you can have your career, your foundation and your man. And be the moon!
Create the life balance you want. Nothing happens w/o doing.
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